


Breaking point.

by HP_of_the_North



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Admittedly slightly Castiel critical as well, And oh my God does it show, Because do I drag that ship through the dirt, Bitter Sam girl is bitter, Brother-Brother Relationship, But people will remember all of Cas Sam and Jack's mistakes but when it comes to Dean, Extremely Dean Winchester critical, Father-Son Relationship, Gen, He's made mistakes as they all have, He's practically the Lyanna and Rhaegar of the Supernatural fandom, I don't hate Dean but the writers have a strong bias towards him over Sam, I will not be taking criticism, It's as if they've gone deaf, Lateseasons!Dean Winchester is an asshole, Look after the injustice Sam got in the last season I'm annoyed he deserves to grieve, More for the fact that the two people in the ship are toxic to each other, Not for destiel lovers, Or apologizing, Or blind or both, People always defend him and it's so annoying, Sam Winchester is Jack Kline's Parent, So yeah, Well - Freeform, You know what show? I'm giving him consequences, no
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-07
Updated: 2021-01-07
Packaged: 2021-03-18 10:34:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28616667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HP_of_the_North/pseuds/HP_of_the_North
Summary: Sam's rage has steadily been building since Dean told him his son would be dying and never thought to mention it to him and now that his boy's gone, it's too much and he finally snaps....
Relationships: Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester, Jack Kline & Sam Winchester
Comments: 27
Kudos: 53





	Breaking point.

Grief, it's a strange thing. He supposed, he's lost so many people in his life. So many friends, so much family but this sort of grief was different, he didn't know how to explain it. After all, how could he grieve what he never lost? How could he grieve for someone who never cared for him as much as he cared for his brother? But Sam grieved all the same. He hated the silence that descended on the bunker, when before he always heard the shout of Jack's laughter, the flutter of Cas's wings. The strange little tunes he'd hum when he was bored and Sam was just getting ready for the day. He missed Cas's soft gravelling voice, he missed how he'd smile at Jack as if he was the most purest thing in the world. He missed how Jack smiled at him brightly and how he trusted him more than anyone.

He knows he should be grateful that he at least still had his brother, he knows that his brother supposedly lost more than him even though he had moved on as soon as the tears had come. It wasn't fair. Why did Dean get to say goodbye to him and Jack when he couldn't? Why did Cas care more about Dean anyway? It's not as if Dean ever gave a damn about him. He knows that too and Dean knows it as well. He could never love Cas the way he loved Dean, he had to wonder if that guilt would follow him to the grave or if he'd just forget about it as if his words were worthless. As if _Cas_ was _worthless_. Didn't he ever think that maybe, just maybe, Sam cared about him too, didn't he ever think that his death would cripple him? Didn't he think that he was worth his love too? And then with Jack leaving...it was too much, too much, toomuchtoomuchtoomuchtoomuch.

Sam kicked the table over that he'd been sitting at, reading. He hardly notice it topple into the bookcase, he didn't notice the books fall. Nor did he notice when he tore them to shreds or how the tables were splinters by the time he was done with them. A haze of red had curtained his vision.

_Sam Winchester, the boy with the demon blood._

_Except when you are the monster, right Sammy?_

_That's so ironic, Dean who's never gave a damn about faith, gets all the angels but you? All you get is demons._

_If I didn't know you, Sam, I'd want to hunt you._

_Oh, Sammy, you're my favorite._

_You were our favorite._

_Dad said I'd have to kill you Sam._

_You belong down here with me champ, a monster in every meaning of the word._

_Shut up, you don't get to talk. You killed her._

_I lost more than you did. I lost Cas and Jack. You don't get to feel sorry for yourself._

Sam's vision cleared when his brother grabbed his shoulders with wide eyes. He glared at him in rage, his vision going red with rage.

"What the hell are you doing man? This stuff was priceless." he said, shocked.

"I'm just doing what you do when you're angry. What? Is it one rule for you and another for me?" he demanded, his voice was rough and tears were starting to build up in his eyes.

Dean stared at him in confusion and even a little bit of hurt but he didn't care, he wasn't the only one who lost people, he wasn't the only one allowed to grieve.

"The hell is that suppose to mean?" he asked. 

"You know what Dean, it doesn't matter because nothing I do matters to you, isn't that right? I'm just a monster who's not suppose to have feelings or suppose to care for anyone, right?" he demanded. 

"I have never, ever said that." 

"Yes you have. You're gonna give me your little speech about how we're all the other has. How you'd do anything for me but it's all bullshit in the end. You haven't looked at me the same since Ruby, since the first apocalypse. You blame me for everything that goes wrong. You hold the apocalypse over my head, when you broke the first damn seal!" he shouted, pointing his finger at his chest and pushing him back a few steps. "yeah, you didn't know it was going to happen but you did it anyway. And when I was manipulated into doing the last one, I did it because I thought I was gonna save the world! While you, you did it because you couldn't handle 30 years worth of torture, you did it to save your own damn skin! You had a choice! And _you_ chose wrong!"

Sam was spitting in all his rage and Dean could only wordlessly stare at him, opening and closing his mouth like a fish.

"You don't trust me, you didn't trust my plan to throw him back in the Cage. You blamed me for losing my soul when the punching bag was the one who yanked me from the Cage. Where I was tortured and scarred and ripped and beaten and bludgened and hanged and...and raped for the more than a thousand years! You never looked for me! You never thought of rescuing me! You lived your little happy, apple pie life with Ben and Lisa! You abandoned me!" he screamed, pushing his shoulders in rage. And he took it.

"I thought you were dead." he barely managed to whisper.

"Oh, that's a great excuse Dean and you know what, you're right. I was dead. But when I did the same thing, you nearly made me kill myself, did you know that? That the reason I was fine with dying to close them damn gates was because when you came back from Purgatory, all you seemed to want to do was blame me and tear me a new one even though I thought you were dead? What did you say Dean, when that happened? _But you looked for me, right? That's what we do, we look for each other._ And yet you never looked for me. You're a hypocrite, I was happy! I had Riot and I had Amelia! I was gonna go back to college! But you, you guilt tripped me back in. You forced me to give up everything I had gained why!? Because you didn't want to be alone! You're pathetic!" he punched his face.

Dean didn't even block it, his own eyes were beyond fractured as he listened to his brother's rage.

"You tried to kill Jack, you let him hurt himself and then you told him you were going to kill him! You're the reason he was going to kill himself too! And then you tell him that he isn't family!? How fucking dare you! He was my son! My kid! My son! He's _my_ family! And now he's gone! Ten bucks says it's because of you! You destroyed my life! The one with Jess, the one with Amelia and the one I built with Jack. You took everything from me, I wanted him to grow up, I wanted him to be happy. And you took him away from me. You took him." he sobbed.

Dean watched horrified as his little brother breaks down in tears, not even having the energy to hit him anymore it seemed.

"And then you had the nerve to tell me, _me_ that I had no right to be upset because you'd lost more. You told Jack that he wasn't family. That he didn't matter, and you thanked him for killing himself so _you_ could be free. Well, he mightn't have been your family but he was mine. He meant more to me than he did to you! You hated him. You know you did. He meant more to me than the entire world put together. I would've let Chuck take out this, worthless, thing, if it meant that he wouldn't die. He was my kid...my boy and you..." 

Sam screamed in rage and punched the wall beside his brother's head, his knuckles didn't even hurt, not really, even when he saw the sharpnel sticking out of them.

" **I hate you.** " he spat viciously. " **I fucking hate you.** "

Sam heaved out harsh, rage invested breathes as he pulled away, kicking the discarded pieces of the tables away from him as he stormed from the library and into his own room, the door slamming closed echoed around the too silent bunker and he stuffed his clothes into his pack, he wasn't staying here, he refused, not after everything he'd done, not with all his ghosts around him.

"You're leaving?" Dean asked, staring at him wide eyed as he finished packing, pausing on one of Jack's coats and Cas's trench coats. "Sam...you...you can't do this to me man. I need you."

"And I need my son. But I guess we can't both get what we want." he snarled.

Dean stood in front of the door way and stopped his brother with his hands on his shoulders.

"Sam please, I can't do this without you." he begged.

"Yes you can." he hissed coldly.

"Yeah, but I don't want to. I need you." he begged.

"You might need me Dean, but I stopped needing you a long time ago."

Sam shoved his brother aside, his words pushing him back more than his shove. Sam's heavy feet banged out against the bunker, echoing around them. 

"You walk out that door, don't you ever come back again!" he screamed from where he stayed by the door.

"Gladly." he spat.

He opened the door and slammed it closed. His son had taken what was left of his heart with him when he became God, he didn't care anymore. Not after all he'd taken from him.


End file.
